sur un site jai trouvé un truc assez marrant, ecrit par un fan :
[Phone rings]
Jennifer Aniston: Hello?
Matt LeBlanc: Jennifer! Hey!
Jennifer Aniston: Oh God, is this David Lynch again? For the last fucking time, I don’t want to star in your movie about the talking octopus that solves sex crimes in its dreams.
Matt LeBlanc: No, it’s me, Matt LeBlanc!
Jennifer Aniston: Matt? What do you want? We haven’t talked since you got drunk and punched me into the giant cake at the Friends wrap party. Also, it’s 2 am, jackass.
Matt LeBlanc: I just wanted to see what you were up to.
Jennifer Aniston: Well, before you interrupted us, Brad Pitt and I were making love.
[Muffled noises in the background]
Jennifer Aniston: Honey, the ball gag is for your own protection. [Into phone] So yeah, anyway, I should get going…
Matt LeBlanc: Wait, I was actually wondering if you wanted to get together.
Jennifer Aniston: “Get together?” Ah, now I understand. Sorry, you’re out of luck… we had to shut down the meth lab while MTV Cribs was shooting here. But hang on, I’ll give you Sarah Michelle Gellar’s number--
Matt LeBlanc: No, no, no, I mean get together for, like, a reunion with the whole cast. You know, just like old times. After all, we’re still “friends,” right? Ha ha! Right?
Jennifer Aniston: … Sure. Yeah, a reunion, sounds great, but I’m really busy with work. Along Came Polly 2 is a surprisingly intense project.
[More muffled noises]
Jennifer Aniston: Brad, be quiet! For God’s sake, you’re barely even bleeding. [Into phone] Listen, Matt, I really need to go.
Matt LeBlanc: Oh, okay, that’s cool. Wait, can I still get Sarah Michelle Gellar’s number?
[Dial tone]
* * *
[Phone rings]
Matthew Perry: Yeah?
Matt LeBlanc: Matt! It’s Matt LeBlanc! Whoa, I totally just noticed we have the same name! Crazy!
Matthew Perry: Hi Matt. Sorry, I’m not really free to talk right now.
Female voice: Who’s that, baby?
Matthew Perry: Dammit, Crystal, I didn’t say stop. [Into phone] Look, I’ll have to call you back.
Matt LeBlanc: Nah, this’ll be quick. I’m trying to organize a Friends reunion. You in?
Matthew Perry: Ooh, I’d like to come, but I’ve got an appointment at the VD clinic that day.
Matt LeBlanc: But I didn’t even suggest a date yet.
Matthew Perry: I know.
Matt LeBlanc: Alright, well, your loss. So, do you like my show so far?
Matthew Perry: A little faster. [Into phone] Sorry, what?
Matt LeBlanc: My Friends spin-off. You’ve seen it, right?
Matthew Perry: [Distracted] Yeah, yeah, of course.
Matt LeBlanc: What did you think of the latest episode?
Matthew Perry: Oh – OH – OHHH!
Matt LeBlanc: Wow! That good?
Matthew Perry: Huh? What were we talking about?
Matt LeBlanc: My show! Joey! Thursday nights on NBC!
Matthew Perry: Sure, sure, good luck with that. I gotta go. Take care, man.
[Hangs up]
* * *
[Phone rings]
Answering machine: Hi! You’ve reached the home of Lisa Kudrow! And by “home” I mean “two million dollar Manhattan loft where my cat and Emmy award live!” I’m not here, so leave a message!
Matt LeBlanc: Hey Lisa, it’s Matt LeBlanc. I’m calling some of the old Friends gang to try and plan a reunion, and I was wondering if –
[Lisa Kudrow picks up the phone]
Lisa Kudrow: Hi Matt! Sorry, I need to keep this line free. I’m expecting a call about a part I auditioned for. I was born to play a talking octopus.
Matt LeBlanc: Oh, no problem. Just out of curiosity, have you seen my new TV show?
Lisa Kudrow: New show? Oh, is yours the one about the people who investigate crime scenes and they use lots of science and fingerprints and stuff?
Matt LeBlanc: No, that’s CSI, and it’s been on TV for five years now.
Lisa Kudrow: I love that show! You’re so lucky!
Matt LeBlanc: Uh, thanks.
* * *
[Phone rings]
Courtney Cox: Hello?
Matt LeBlanc: Hiya! It’s Matt LeBlanc!
Courtney Cox: Goddamn it. Why can’t I just pay the extra three dollars a month for caller ID?
Matt LeBlanc: Ha ha… yeah. Listen, I’m planning a Friends reunion party and I’d really like it if you could come.
Courtney Cox: Sorry, Matt, but that chapter of my life is behind me. I’m focusing on my film career now. Mark my words, Scream 4 will be the movie of 2006.
Matt LeBlanc: Man, everyone’s busy these days. And I guess I am too, what with my show and all.
Courtney Cox: Your what?
Matt LeBlanc: My TV show! What is wrong with you people?!
Courtney Cox: No, no, I’m sure it’s really popular. I just don’t watch a lot of TV. What is it, like, on the WB or something?
David Arquette: [In background] Honey, I’ve got the Altoids, lube, and waffle iron. If that Cosmo article was right, you’re in for a mind-blowing evening.
Courtney Cox: Sorry, Matt, gotta go.
[Hangs up]
* * *
[Phone rings]
David Schwimmer: Speak to me, baby.
Matt LeBlanc: Schwimmer! It’s me, Matt!
David Schwimmer: … Damon?
Matt LeBlanc: No, LeBlanc.
David Schwimmer: Oh, thank God. That would’ve been awkward. What’s up, bro?
Matt LeBlanc: I wanted to ask you about getting a Friends reunion together.
David Schwimmer: A reunion? Gosh, I don’t know. My schedule’s packed pretty tight with excuses. I mean, uh, AIDS research fundraisers.
Matt LeBlanc: But it’d be the perfect chance to catch up on old times! Remember the episode where Joey was like, “Hey Ross, if homo sapiens were really homo sapiens, is that why they’re extinct?” Remember?! That killed!
David Schwimmer: Oh, yeah. Yeah, Joey was a good character.
Matt LeBlanc: “Was?” He’s still the same Joey on my show.
David Schwimmer: Your show?
Matt LeBlanc: Yes! Jesus! My new show on NBC!
David Schwimmer: Oh. Is it one of those celebrity poker shows? Celebrity poker is so hot right now.
Matt LeBlanc: No! It’s a Friends spin-off about Joey! It’s been on the air for seven weeks! Doesn’t anyone watch my show?!
David Schwimmer: Whoa, dude, you sound stressed. You should really see my therapist. He taught me how to overcome my fear of snakes and snake-like appendages.
[Matt LeBlanc hangs up in frustration]
* * *
[Phone rings]
Jennifer Aniston: Hello?
Courtney Cox: Hey, it’s me. Did Matt LeBlanc call you a little while ago?
Jennifer Aniston: Yeah. He’s so pathetic.
Courtney Cox: So we’re all still getting together next weekend for the reunion, right?
Jennifer Aniston: Yeah, just the five of us. No freakin’ Joey.
Courtney Cox: Fantastic. [Pause] So… you wanna mail LeBlanc a dead possum?
Jennifer Aniston: Yes. Yes I do.
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Mer 13 Juil à 11:42